Funerals,
the Burial of the DeadFunerals,
the Burial of the DeadThis page includes information about:
Please consider carefully the following guidelines from the Book of Common Prayer:
"When a person is near death, the Minister of the congregation should be notified, in order that the ministrations of the Church may be provided." (p. 462)
"The liturgy for the dead is an Easter liturgy. It finds all its meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we, too, shall be raised. The liturgy, therefore, is characterized by joy, in the certainty that 'neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.' This joy, however, does not make human grief unchristian. he very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So, while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord, we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn." (p. 507).
Baptized Christians are properly buried from the Parish Church (not the mortician's establishment). The service should be held at a time when the Congregation has opportunity to be present.
In all cases, the family of the deceased is expected to confer with the priest concerning the funeral and (s)he, in turn, will notify the mortician of arrangements involving the Church. The bereaved family should feel free to consult their priest on the matter of their funeral expenditure(s).
It is assumed that in requesting the services of a priest of The Episcopal Church, the family accepts the discipline and worship of the Church in which the priest was ordained to serve. The priest is responsible to the Diocesan Bishop for the uniform conduct of the liturgy.
Concerning the Coffin at the Church: The coffin is to remain closed once it is brought to the Church. Ideally the body might be brought to the Church as soon as possible to lie in state until the funeral. This allows friends to pay prayerful respects, but avoid the "viewing of the body". Because flowers may not be brought into the Church, persons are encouraged to make appropriate memorial contributions rather than sending flowers to the mortician's establishment.
Music: Only sacred music (i.e. texts from Scripture, the Prayer Book, the Church's Hymnal, or its supplements) is allowed at a funeral in the Church. The funeral is first and foremost a service of worship of Almighty God and the priest is canonically charged to maintain the tradition of the Church in this area. It is desirable that the Congregation sing hymns at the funeral.
Flowers: No flowers may be brought into the body of the Church except those designated for the adornment of the Altar and Paschal Candle. It is customary that the family of the person who has died provide these flowers using the Parish's designated florist.
Funeral
Pall:
Customarily the funeral pall is used to cover the coffin in the
Church as a sign that there is no distinction between persons
in death. (All coffins, expensive or not, appear the same
when covered by the pall.) Containers for the body, other than
coffins, are available, especially for cremations.)
The Holy Eucharist: The norm is that each Church member's death
be celebrated with a Requiem Eucharist. Both Rite I and
Rite II Burial Offices are designed in a Eucharistic context.
The Church teaches us that the most appropriate way to give
thanks for the life of a Christian and to celebrate our continued
relationship in the Communion of Saints is by means of the Holy
Eucharist. A Requiem Eucharist need not be a long service
and is usually appropriately uplifting.
Cremations: Cremation is an acceptable means of disposing of bodily remains for Christians. This is a growing practice among American church members because of its economy and simplicity. St. Mary's offers a Columbarium for this purpose for members of the Parish and their families.
Non-members may have their cremains buried in the Memorial Garden for a nominal fee. The Vestry acted on 17 May 1999 to allow the cremains of non-members to be buried without any sort of container in the Memorial Garden with the name of the decedent placed on a permanent plaque for the cost of $200.
Services of Fraternal Societies: Only official liturgies
for the Burial of the Dead may be conducted at a funeral in The
Episcopal Church. Where the rites of fraternal groups are
desired, these should precede the Church's liturgy, either at
the home of the deceased, the fraternal meeting place, or at the
mortician's establishment.
Military Honors: The American flag may be substituted for the funeral pall. The officer or non-commissioned officer in command of a military detail should confer with the priest before the committal as to proper arrangements.
Costs: There is no charge for the services of the clergy nor for the use of the Church by members of the parish. However, it is expected that the organist be given an honorarium.
Post-Funeral Prayers: The deceased is customarily prayed for at all liturgies through the Sunday following death.
Possible Sequence of Events:
If you have special wishes for your own funeral or that of a family member it is wise to have those plans on file at your Parish Church. You might also wish to give those plans to your children, a trusted friend, and to your attorney. Do not put them in your will or lock box; its contents will probably not be looked at for some time after your death.
You may wish to donate organs for the well-being of those yet living and/or parts or all of your body for scientific research.
You may wish to include the Church and/or your favorite charity in your will.
A vault is not required by law, in most places; however, some cemeteries require a "rigid outer container" which prevents the grave from sinking. Vaults are money savers for cemeteries, they do not keep bodies dry!
Embalming is rarely required by law. This will probably never happen since it violates the religious convictions of some.
Death is a reality we each face, and knowing this, we can make plans that will witness to our faith and relieve our family of the burden of some important decisions.
Copies of Legal Documents, especially Powers of Attorney for Health Care and Living Wills, may be kept on file at St. Mary's (in addition to one's personal physician, surrogate, attorney, and at least one other family member). These copies safeguard your intentions and limit the possibility of dispute. Also on file should be a copy of your wishes regarding your burial. The Rector has forms available for this, and is available for consultation in all these matters.
The rationale behind keeping a copy at the Church is that your priest is one person who may be consulted in any decision-making process that may arise due to your incapacitation. Often, in these situations, it is your priest who can most objectively speak for you, and who, with the doctor, can be of most help in assisting your surrogate in making a difficult decision.
Copies of these documents left on file at St. Mary's are for the Rector's eyes only.
Be certain
to update the documents in your file when, for whatever reason,
you make changes in your plans.